"To All"

I guess I’ve always been kind of a nobody. Even when I would win awards in school, the teacher would start off by saying: “Yeah, this guy’s kind of a nobody, but he’s the winner of this award so you can clap if you want; you don’t have to, though, if you don’t feel comfortable.” 

Most of the kids never clapped--I guess they didn’t feel comfortable--and it was extremely awkward for everyone involved, especially me. 

I guess I was that guy kind of floating through life, like a balloon, until one day I floated away, away from everything and everyone. That’s when I would say I lost my point of reference. Even though I just compared myself to a balloon, and I stand by that comparison, I’d say I’m maybe more like a ship, a ship lost at sea that can’t see the coastline, no great beacon to guide him ashore. There’s no lighthouse. And without the beacon, the proverbial lighthouse, you’re just a man at sea, lost at sea. Any port in a storm, they say. Any port in a storm.   

"Death Skull!"

"Night Stalker (Fascination)"

"My Apartment Complex"

I don't like to put my problems on other people, but over the last three weeks, the cool kids at my apartment complex have been bullying me mercilessly. I always try to resolve things with words, peacefully, but there was no getting through to these guys (and girls--the girls can be the meanest sometimes). Anyway, I said, "Hey guys, picking on people isn't funny; it's just childish." Well, that didn't get through to them so I stabbed one in the stomach with a toothbrush I fashioned into a shiv. Bam! That shut them up and sent the rest of them flying away on their bikes, as their buddy crumpled to the ground. Yes, I think it's safe to say I took care of that situation! No one's gonna push me around and give me a hard time! No, I stand up for myself. I'm the kind of guy who handles his own business, no matter what--Oh, God, here they come again!

"Blunt Force Trauma"

"Skull Fracture"

"I Feel Like This Pretty Much Every Day"

"The Shaggs - It's Halloween"

"Problems in the Lab"

Major setback, but feeling much better now.

"This Is a Little Piece of Genius"

"Unbridled Carnage"

"Classic Gus Johnson"

Shows you can be funny with no budget; it's just about how good the idea is.

"Battle of the Throat Clearers"

"Favorite Person On YouTube Right Now"

"John Rafferty's America, Vol.2" (Full Movie)

"John Rafferty's America" Full Video

"Love Is A Battlefield" (Full Movie)

"

"Maybe the Greatest Cameo in Film History"

David Letterman is sublime.

"Good Time Corporate Pirate Rock At Its Finest -- 'Barista Jazz'"

A sprawling lo-fi extravanga.

"Tickling the Ivories"

This is a piano instrumental album I collaborated with some other artists on. You can download any and all the songs for free.

https://johnrafferty.bandcamp.com/album/tickling-the-ivories

Everyone Needs A George -- "It's Time Da Rock" (Experimental Album)

"Start Of A Death Metal Song?"

 

People dying every day

Their minds just wasting away

Bodies continuing to decay

The human race is withering away 

"Greasy Old Fat Man"

Eat your heart out, Garth Brooks!

"Big, Fat, Ugly & Stupid"

This is for all the teachers who said I'd never amount to anything.

"Cm7b6b9 to Fm9 for 3:40"

I find the Cm7b6b9 chord resolving to the Fm9 the most satisfying chord change in music.

And 3:40 of it just perfect. Thanks to Adam Neely for the inspiration.

"The Genius of Tom Green"

"For Robert Bresson"

"Corona Virus Protection Song"

"My Mom's Addicted To Her iPhone"

"Dweezil Zappa Rip-Off Song"

"Valentine's Day Song" (Acoustic Death Metal)

"Valentine's Day Song" (Death Metal Version)

"Head Wound" (Country Version)

"SMILE"

"Good-bye"

"America"

"More Tapping"

"The Carnival I Opened Went Out Of Business"

"'Burbs"

"I'm Losing My Mind"

"Lockdown"

"Satan!"

"Head Wound"

"Jazz Guitar Interlude"

"The Light In My Brain Has Gone Out"

"Satan"

"Screams of an Anguished Soul"

My entire musical career has led up to this point.

"Pick-Up Truck" (Pop Country Song)

Someone told me it sounds like Toby Keith.

"Composers Speak"

As a musician, I'm heavily influenced by the band Tommy Lee Jones fronted in "Under Siege" and the song Jaime Foxx did in "Any Given Sunday." -- Mozart

"Moderately Attractive Stoner Girlfriend"

6 1/2 out of ten.

"Annihilating Your Soul"

Death Skull B-side.

"Sending You To Hell!"

Another Death Skull classic.

"I'm Going To Kill You!"

Pretty self-explanatory.

"Happy Birthday!"

Death metal version of "Happy Birthday" song.

"Montage of Gore"

Death metal song inspired by Deicide and Pestilence.

"I Never Went To High School"

Rick Rosner had the right idea!

"Movie Cancelled?!"

The short film was also a high school student film. (I omitted that fact because it made the film seem quite less cool.) Now, the would-be director has been caught filling up the headmasters bathtub with spaghetti--a great hijink--but it has gotten him kicked out of school.

No more student, no more student film.  

Yes, it's true: no dead body role. It's over.

Excuse me, while I go drink myself to death . . .

"Brain-Dead Blues"

A tribute to every slow blues song ever, but really a tribute to Stevie Ray Vaughn's blues playing, especially "Texas Flood."

"My Bloody Valentine Rip-Off"

Inspired by My Bloody Valentine's song "Sometimes."

"Students and Science"

Things all students should know about science:

-- Sometimes it happens in a lab, but not always: Look at Archimedes!

-- The world is not flat; it ain't no flap jack.

-- Einstein was a genius.

-- You got igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary rocks.

-- Volcanoes are real!

-- Don't do boring shit in a science fair. Bring your A-game, ladies. Take a fucking risk. I never won a science fair. Came in dead last once. But I took risks. And that's what people remember. That, and when I came in dead last. They remember that. But you know what? That's the moment I became a scientist.

-- Why not have a great idea for physics? 

-- Erosion.

-- Metamorphosis--larva, pupae, all that jazz. Chrysalis.

-- You got Physical Science, Biology, Chemistry, and I guess they can all be pretty boring, but what about just throwing yourself into it? Covalent bonding, bunsen burners, the list goes on . . . Being in the lab . . . Experiments that seem stupid, are stupid, seem to go nowhere . . . Litmus paper . . . Setting shit on fire . . . Weighing things . . . 

-- Lastly, just because the science world doesn't always believe in you, never stop believing in yourself. Never stop dreaming, and never feel like you can't change the world. Someday you might invent something, someday you might fail. Someday you might have an idea that's so simple and so brilliant that you get one in a lifetime, one that's so charged that it sets the world on fire.

"I Got The Part!"

I am the dead body! Shooting starts mid-April!

"Jazzy Werewolf Playing Softly"

This is what a jazzy werewolf sounds like playing softly.

"I'm In A Fog"

Can't focus at work. Can't focus at home. I'm in a fog. All I can think about is getting that dead body role! I've been telling everyone I know about it! Thinking it makes it so!

"Death Match" - Trailer

A trailer for the movie, "DEATH MATCH," which doesn't exist.

"Because They're White"

A song about how white cops can kill and murder black people, and get away with it because they're white.

"Skull Car"

"200 Years"

"More Dead Body News"

The filmmakers think I might just be right for the part. They asked me where I live. The shoot is kind of far away, but I told them I didn't care about being reimbursed for travel; being part of the project is all I care about. I'm going to get this part or die trying. At which point my dead body can be used as the dead body in the film. Talk about realism! And I still get the screen credit. I still achieve my goal. Nothing can stop me!!!

"Tiny Dancer"

When I was twelve years old, Dance Forum called me "the Baryshnikov of the suburbs."

Five years later, they called my dancing "madness -- a cautionary tale!"

"A Tough Break"

I spent all my time getting heavy into Satan, only to find out I can't even conjure him and it's really just some crummy religion. I should of gotten into Christianity: That's where all the murder is.

"Hot Licks, Hot Chicks"

"February's Featured Artist: Rhoma Irama"

This guy does a number of things right.

"My Brain Exploded!"

"More Scientist of the Year!"

"Dead Body Update"

I had to email them again, expressing my interest and exuberance for the role--But they finally emailed me back asking for a head shot. I quickly sent them my best one and then they asked for a few more, and a candid shot--Farful, unadorned, raw, and in the moment.

Things are beginning to heat up!

"Scientist of the Year"

I did it!

"Greatest Bumble Profile Ever"

Marc, 39
Burt Misham School of Driving
2005

Over the bar scene and looking for the real thing! I'm an outdoorsman.
My ex-wife and kids, not so much. They left me. Whatever! Yolo!
I have my shit together and so should you. I chop wood every day,
so I'm in pretty good shape. Looking for someone who takes care
of herself, as well.

Favorite quality in a person . . .

Can suck venom out of snake bites.

My dream dinner guest is . . .

Anyone with food. I don't know how to hunt
and I'm starving to death.

If I could eat only one meal for the rest of my life it would be . . .

Anything! There's no game, no berries, or nuts out here!!!

"Dead Body!"

I'm trying to get a part playing a dead body in a short film. I'm so excited (I'm serious) about this coming to fruition. I've played a dead body before (experience!), but it was a comedy; nothing dramatic. This is legit.

"Statistics"

When statisticians talk about odds, they often compare things to the likelihood of getting hit by lightning. But when someone actually gets hit by lightning, they have shit to say about it.

"Valentine's Day!"

Let's be real: If you're reading this blog, you're prob'ly some sad, lonely bastard with nothing and no one. Happy Valentine's Day! No one loves you and no one ever will!

"Recommended Read"

Today I read a book on sexuality and the human body written for Catholics. It's called: "Ugly and Sinful."

"Love Is A Battlefield"

Love Is A Battlefield from John Rafferty on Vimeo.

"I Love David Arquette's Dancing In This Scene"

Skip to 1:15 and let it ride till 1:27.

"This Is Sincerely What You Call Awesome"

I've been saying since day one this guy's a genius.

"I'm Dying from Insomnia"

My epitaph: Insomnia killed him. Maybe now he can get some sleep.

"Prison Advice"

If you go to jail, try to get your own cell. Because if you have a cell mate who snores, good luck getting any sleep.

"Death Threat Update"

Nothing happened for three days, and then yesterday, the dude jumped me--total wannabe psycho war vet--and I karate kicked him in the abdomen and tore out of his throat.

"Death Threat"

Dear Marc Farful,

I’m going to kill you. I don’t even know who you are--never have--but I’ve always hated the name Marc with a ‘c’ and a kid in school named Bobby Farful used to beat me half to the death, so I put the two names together and here we are. You’re probably asking yourself two questions: one, how am I gonna manage to avert this attack upon my life? And, two: Why not kill Bobby Farful? Seems like a real bastard. Well, Bobby Farful got hit by a train. I don’t know the details, but apparently trains kill human beings when they hit them--anyway, I was halfway to forgiving him, so I figured I go trolling for another Farful, and that, my sweet boy, is you. 

     I wish there was something more concrete driving me to kill--specifically, you--it would give me more purpose; I’d feel better about taking your life. I don’t know, maybe I’m lonely, bored, have nothing to do. I tried joining a runner’s club. Man, is that a horrible idea: All you do is get all out of breath and your muscles hurt. The only runner’s high I got was from the spliff I smoked on the way home!

     Someone else would be begging me to take a pottery class, diffuse that negative energy through art--Well, guess what! My coffee cup exploded in the kiln (not enough glazing on my part) just like my hatred has exploded for you! Besides, you seem like the kind of chap who’d take on a situation like this. As you read this letter, you’re thinking of ways to track me down, go toe-toe with me. Put a madman in his place. (If it is the case, that you’re some kind of military Navy SEAL expert, let’s forget the whole thing; I mean, I was just kind of kidding and you seem like a pretty good guy)--otherwise, I’m coming for you! It’s just you and me now, sport!  

        
Again, Nothing Really Personal,

Can’t Give My Name, It Would Ruin Everything

"Philosophy of Mike Tyson"

"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."