"Math Camp"

Math camp gone wrong . . .

The Shaggs - "It's Halloween"

Cardiacs - "Tarred And Feathered"

"Well-Versed in Death"

"New TV Show"

How 'bout a situation comedy about The Fly? It's Friends meets a man turning into a disgusting fly.

"Beck - Devil Got My Woman, Beat TV 1995"

"Andy Kaufman Eating Ice Cream"

"Primus Tribute"

"Tritone Nightmare (Shred from Hell)"

"Andy Kaufman on Letterman (October 15th, 1980)"

"Best 'Law & Order' Quote of All-Time"

"Killing a man's a strange way of having a good time."

                                                  -- Abbie Carmichael

"Execution"

"My Mom's Addicted To Her iPhone"

"Ode to Jeff Speakman (The Perfect Weapon)"

"Terminators"

After the machines become self-aware, many become increasingly self-conscious: they won't shut up about their weight or the size of their thighs.

"Buckethead Style Lick"

Two-hand tapping lick in the style of Buckethead.

"Suicide Dog!"

I'm currently writing a children's book about a dog who kills himself--hangs himself with his own leash. It's called "Suicide Dog!"

In the story, no one wants him and they're going to put him down, but in an act of defiance, he takes his life and death into his own paws and hangs himself in his cage.

"I Can't Even Believe Such A Song Exists" (Lay It Down, Rick)

"St. Patrick's Day, 2018"

What happens when you're sober on St. Patrick's Day.

"Those Awkward Teenage Years"

"Metalhead Graduates!"

Studies for final exams listening to Slayer. Passes.

"My Life"

From the private Farful collection.

"Dinosaur Volcano"

The illustration below depicts--in uncompromising detail--the classic struggle of man vs. nature. Quite possibly man vs. self, as well.

"Bengal Tiger"

The bengal tiger pictured below is a proud animal. It was here long before us and will probably be here long after we are gone. It deserves our respect.

--The snake charmer coalition for the protection of animals.

"The Ultimate Rock 'n' Roll Terrorist"

One of the most important people in the history of rock 'n' roll.

"Killing Spree"

My mom's new band is called Killing Spree.

"Songwriting 101 with Dave Grohl"

"Inspirational Thursday"

Every Thursday, we'll be bringing you a new inspirational video.

"My Mom Loves Death Metal"

Her favorite bands are Death, Autopsy, Pestilence, Gorguts, Obituary, and Foreign Objects.

"I'm on Acid"

A song about acid, among other things.

"Kill! Kill! Kill!" (My Mom's First Song)

Alternative rock in the spirit of Ween. A micro-song. Mike Patton, John Zorn, Mr. Bungle, Naked City.

"Updated Dating Profile"

That first one didn't really catch any fish, so: 

The pictures below capture a man beset by, yes, incredible handsomeness--but also tortured by the restless pain of everyday existence; akin to the quiet despair of an old man, who can't party like he used to.

Me: Let's get down to brass tacs, ladies: Should you choose me? I wouldn't: I spend all day with myself and it's awful. I mean, right now I'm listening to David Koresh music and forgetting my sweatshirts and jackets everywhere--I left one in Delaware. Getting it back sucked.

5'11.

"Setting A Bad Example"

I feel like this photograph is a bad example because it promotes guns, fire, and smoking all in one.

"Say Yes To Love"

Experimental noise song featuring Sonic Youth and Neil Diamond.

"Georgia Peach"

Country song about those beautiful Georgia peaches.

"Double Bed"

I sleep now in a double bed and it's horrific! It's like a table for two with only one person at it. It's such a creepy, lonely feeling; I keep looking over at the other side of the bed expecting to see someone--but NO! It's just me with no one--no one to talk to, no one to hold my hand, caress my sweet hair and tell me everything's going to be all right. So I'm sunk! But I have an idea: I love skeletons, so I'm gonna get one of those cheap plastic skeletons and talk to him. He'll probably be reading a book (some mystery novel) and we'll joke about how trashy it is, and what happened to real literature? TV? Cell phones? Ah, what can you do? You know, skeleton? 

"Merry Christmas, I Hope You Die!"

Brutal death metal song about Christmas gone wrong.

"Keyboard"

"Where'd you get that keyboard?"
"It was my grandfather's."