"If You're Feeling Foolish . . ."

. . . just remember that when I was a kid I once tried to iron a pair of Umbro soccer shorts. Burned hole straight through them. Everyone laughed at me. Almost ruined the iron.

"Crucial Calendar Update"

I was able to find and purchase a correctly-sized claendar. There may be some hope . . .  

"You Ever See A Guitar Solo SO GOOD You Can't Believe What You Heard?!"

"And We're Off!"

It's the New Year and the first order of business has been trying to obtain a correctly-sized calendar for my bureau, since I have the memory of a 900-year-old man. Usually, my mom gives me a calendar because she, for some reason, always has an extra one -- but this year it was way too small. Thrown into a panic, my mom came to the rescue and said she'd just pick up another one when she next went shopping. Then she showed up with this gigantic slab of a calendar and we're right back where we started, although things seem more desperate, as we can't seem to just buy a normal calendar.

Living in a world where everything is so constantly up in the air, having this calendar situation solved takes on such incredible importance. There's really no telling what will happen. My life is careening more and more out of control without a solid calendar to fall back on. Tomorrow, we try again. Let's hope for the best . . .