"Jazz (As An Actual Jazz Song)"

"Toothbrush"

I think I'm using my Oral-B electric toothbrush incorrectly. That's all for now.

"Great Latin Class Moments"

Sophomore year. Latin class. People had been forgetting their books . . . A student, let's call him "Brian," -- the nicest, most assuming kid you''ll ever meet -- gets called on to translate. 

Silence.

Brian, slowly, fearful: "I forgot my book."

The teacher sighs, quietly furious. He heads over to his desk (where there's a stack of books), and as he does, Brian gets up, making his way to meet the teacher halfway, when -- BAM! the teacher, without turning around, flings an extra book into Brian's face, who's now only a few feet behind him. 

Everyone is horrified -- plus, that can't be good for the teacher's career -- while, Brian, holding his face, stumbles about searching for the book, then falls to the ground.

He