Sunday, November 8, 2020

"My Apartment Complex"

I don't like to put my problems on other people, but over the last three weeks, the cool kids at my apartment complex have been bullying me mercilessly. I always try to resolve things with words, peacefully, but there was no getting through to these guys (and girls--the girls can be the meanest sometimes). Anyway, I said, "Hey guys, picking on people isn't funny; it's just childish." Well, that didn't get through to them so I stabbed one in the stomach with a toothbrush I fashioned into a shiv. Bam! That shut them up and sent the rest of them flying away on their bikes, as their buddy crumpled to the ground. Yes, I think it's safe to say I took care of that situation! No one's gonna push me around and give me a hard time! No, I stand up for myself. I'm the kind of guy who handles his own business, no matter what--Oh, God, here they come again!