"Handsome Magazine"

"White Lion With A White Lion Tattoo"

"Xmas Is The Bomb"

"Dracula"

The pressures of fame led Dracula to become a recluse for most of his early thirties. Because of his success in film, especially, he could no longer just be little old Dracula from Transylvania; he had to "Dracula." Man, he hated having to wear the same thing every day. One time, he showed up to a barbecue in jeans. It was a disaster.

"A Story About A Chair"

A chair kidnapped another chair. It was awkward cuz he had to tie the chair to a third chair. He beat and killed the chair. Why? Chairs have no motives. The police interrogated the chair for hours, but he didn't say a word. At one point, one of the detectives accidentally sat on him -- honest mistake.

But they had the evidence. It went to trial. "A heinous crime!" the judge decreed. "Give 'em the chair!" the angry mob shouted. This was better than giving a poisonous snake lethal injection, or a can of cyanide the gas chamber. This was a chance to give a chair, the chair!

As he sat there, strapped in, they said: "Any last words?" "This is like a gun getting the firing squad." He sighed. "Just hit it. Give me the juice."  

"Captain Ron"

Few know that Marlon Brando was originally slated to play the character of Captain Ron (in the film of the same name), but pulled out two weeks before production, citing personal issues. The producers, in dire straits, tried to secure Mel Gibson, who had been their second choice; however, he was already in the middle of shooting "Air America," with Robert Downey Jr. Finally, Kurt Russell was brought in on the recommendation of fellow cast member Martin Short. Now it seems impossible to imagine anyone but Kurt Russell playing the role of the free-spirited, unpredictable, immensely lovable Captain Ron.