"A Story About A Chair"

A chair kidnapped another chair. It was awkward cuz he had to tie the chair to a third chair. He beat and killed the chair. Why? Chairs have no motives. The police interrogated the chair for hours, but he didn't say a word. At one point, one of the detectives accidentally sat on him -- honest mistake.

But they had the evidence. It went to trial. "A heinous crime!" the judge decreed. "Give 'em the chair!" the angry mob shouted. This was better than giving a poisonous snake lethal injection, or a can of cyanide the gas chamber. This was a chance to give a chair, the chair!

As he sat there, strapped in, they said: "Any last words?" "This is like a gun getting the firing squad." He sighed. "Just hit it. Give me the juice."