Monday, December 21, 2015

"Middle Ground"


Manslaughter gets introspective on this folksy, fingerpicked track off their album, DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!
Serious singer-songwriter guitar and vocals going on here. Tried to sound like: James Taylor, Cat Stevens,
Joan Baez, John Denver, Joni Mitchell, Gordon Lightfoot, Emmylou Harris, Simon & Garfunkel, Peter, Paul,
 and Mary, and so on. But not necessarily all at once.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

"A Love That Never Dies"


Footage of Daniel and Laurie from the documentary, "The Devil and Daniel Johnston."
About the woman who was Daniel's great unrequited love and muse.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

"My Life in Pictures"


The story of my life told through pictures. It' scored to music, too. Basically, it's like a slideshow, but better.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Friday, October 23, 2015

Thursday, October 1, 2015

"How To Throw A Birthday Party!"


This how-to video includes picking the right cake, food and refreshments, and the best napkins, plates,
and presents, as well. It also covers balloon selection, invitations--everything you need to throw
A GREAT BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Friday, September 18, 2015

"Say Goodbye To Tokyo"


A lounge music ballad about the end of a love affair in Tokyo. Romantic, wistful, it has a cool saxophone solo, too.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

"9 Celebrity Facts That Will Inspire You"


9 celebrity facts that will inspire and motivate you! Learn the obstacles that legendary figures,
such as Michael Jordan and Albert Einstein, had overcame to achieve their greatness!

Monday, August 24, 2015

"Descendents Answering Machine"


This is what I think the Descendents answering machine would sound like.

The Descendents are an awesome punk band. Check out there albums: Milo Goes to College, Everything Sucks, and Somery, to name a few.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Thursday, July 30, 2015

"Piano Ballad Song from Garageband (with original lyrics)"


Used the Piano Ballad song in Apple's Garageband and recorded original lyrics over it. Then made this music video for it.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

"Love Song"


The most unenthusiastic, lethargic, and unconvincing love song you will ever hear.
Probably also the strangest, too.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

"Natas Kaupas - Santa Cruz Streets On Fire"


Natas Kaupas part from the 1989 Santa Cruz Streets On Fire skate video.
Some of the greatest skateboarding you'll ever see, including the fire hydrant trick.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

"I'll Sleep Better When I'm Dead"


Mr. Bungle/Mike Patton-influenced song. Inspired heavily by Mr. Bungle's "The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny,"
album, especially. Death metal meets avant-garde. Another commercial hit for Manslaughter!

Thursday, June 18, 2015

"Kool Moe Dee - I Go To Work (HQ Video)"


This is just awesome. One of Kool Moe Dee's best music videos. A great music video, period.

Monday, June 15, 2015

"Jason Jessee - Streets on Fire"


Jason Jessee in his classic video part from the 1989 Santa Cruz video, "Streets on Fire."
My edit of this legendary vert skating skate section, featuring the Manslaughter song "Weight."

Friday, June 5, 2015

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Monday, May 18, 2015

"Greg Kinnear"


Godsend vs. Dear God. Both feature Greg Kinnear. I enjoyed Dear God more.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

"Twisted Sister - The Price (Official Video)"


A lot of people are saying there's only one candidate in the upcoming election,
but I'd vote for Dee Snider over Hillary Clinton in an instant -- an instant! Stay Hungry!

Monday, April 20, 2015

"Bruce McCulloch Tribute Song"


"Gonna Rock!" My tribute song to all the great, hilarious music Bruce McCulloch
made on "The Kids in the Hall" and such albums as "Shame-Based Man."

Monday, April 6, 2015

"Handsome Magazine"



A List of the Top Ten Heartbreakers! 

What a struggle to pick just ten! Had to add five honorable mentions -- and we still agonized!


1. Marlon Brando


The original. The originator. What more can be said?


2. James Dean


Like Brando's younger brother, another trailblazer. The essence of cool.


3. Paul Newman






Timeless. A river of talent and good looks. 


4. Johnny Depp


A pioneer in bringing weirdness to the handsome table. His daring is equaled only by his hotness.


5. Brad Pitt


More than meets the eye. The unlikely chameleon we love to be surprised by.


6. John Rafferty


Classic, yet unconventional. A series of contradictions, but no one is so "it," right now.


7. Elvis Presley


The King, baby! The King!


8. Denzel Washington


One of the ultimate all-time leading men. Would chuckle at his inclusion . . . and that's why we love him so much.


9. George Clooney


On-screen gold. Check! And knows how to handle himself: Probably the finest party guest, as well as host. 


10. Richard Gere


Master of understatement. The consummate gentleman. Guy's got it in his bones. 'Nuff said.


Honorable mention: Sean Connery; Christian Bale; Matthew McConaughey (Have you read his life-changing story about buying the wrong car?  Well. you should: It's brilliant!); Tom Cruise; Bradley Cooper.




"Rare Form"


An Exclusive Interview with John Rafferty


by William Blake Henderson


Most internationally-handsome men party, get drunk, and trash hotel rooms.  However, the one I'm meeting today once actually helped fix one up.  "I was staying at this fancy place in Rome, and I was bored, so I just got in on the crew.  Assumed the role."  This is the first thing John Rafferty tells me, after he apologizes for being over forty minutes late to our interview.  "There's this arcade here.  Totally brand-new, I think.  I lost track of time."  

According to Rafferty, who's red-hot these days, this is the third time he's ever been late in his life -- and I believe him, because he is noticeably distraught, almost inconsolable, really, as he sits down next to me with a Dairy Queen pretzel and soda.  Per his request, we are conducting this interview on a bench outside a San Berdinas, CA strip mall; he's trying to overcome a debilitating disorder he describes as "mall sickness."  He claims it afflicts millions, with thousands of cases going undiagnosed every year.   

"What is 'mall sickness'? I have to ask."  "It's when mall's make you physically ill.  I'm trying to build up an immunity to it, like antibodies."  "Were you already late when you stopped at Dairy Queen."  "Yes.  I should have picked you up something -- maybe a Blizzard.  It would have been a gamble, but good manners all the same.  I forgot my manners.  I forgot the time.  That's mall sickness.  The disorientation.  I'm in rare form, the worst kind."  

He is sweating, perspiring in a strange way.  Again, I believe him.

"Getting back to the hotel story, was it heavy-lifting?  How entrenched were you?"  "No, just, like, some painting.  I helped carry a ladder.  Most of the real work -- furniture, lighting -- was days away."  "You're an odd bird."  "I surf my own wave, Bill.  It's the only one that breaks."

This is undeniable.  As the new face of all that is good-looking, Rafferty defies all stereotypes, all categorization.  He's a relic -- an oddity -- of this present metrosexual age.  He's the manly man, but he's complicated, truly sensitive, a stranger in our land.  There's a pain, a confusion, in his blue eyes.  Baffling charisma, a hint of mischief.  All of it entirely hypnotic.  

"There were rumors you that you really let yourself go in '08."  He's lost for a moment, like he's looking for the clock in the room and realizing there isn't one.  It's probably in another room.  Yet we're outside.  Maybe he could inquire of the waiter, the barkeep, his face seems to say, then contorts.  Remembers that he doesn't drink.  "It started in 2006, but then I had to pull the reigns in a bit."  He pauses, takes a sip of his soda.  "What is that?"  "It's Coke, actually Pepsi."  A stalemate.  "But by '08, I gave up.  It was a war of attrition, William.  And I lost."  He pauses, his mind fleeing elsewhere, then returning: "I tried to do ugly the best that I could.  It felt right."

A harsh breeze whips by, the sounds of the arcade in the distance.

From somewhere untold: "I heard this story about a guy whose car caught on fire," Rafferty announces with authority, although he's out on a limb and all too aware.  "All of his clothes in the trunk.  Burnt-up.  But instead of buying new ones, he wore the burned ones.  He walked around smelling like a burnt car.  That inspired me for a really long time . . . It still does . . . sometimes."

I want to ask him about the lumberjack period, where he thinks handsomeness is going, but I've asked enough and, as for the latter, neither of us know.  Only that we don't know.  And it is that kind of wisdom which has brought us here, to our closing.

"I owe you a Blizzard.  I mean that."  And he does.     



How Handsome Is Too Handsome?

by Frederick Patten


Is there even such a thing?

Well, if Dr. Elizabeth Chang is correct, there just might be a line in the lovely looks sand that no man should ever cross.  "Vanity," Dr. Chang states, "at a certain level, is an addiction."  She continues to explain this nonsensical theory, and one cannot help notice everything about her is completely made-up -- her name (come on, how stock?); her seven-foot (guesstimate) athletic stature; and the reality that she appears to wear old people sunglasses (the wraparounds, man) constantly.

"Dr., isn't this like asking 'Can a person be too intelligent'?  I mean, it all seems preposterous."  "Perhaps I've misrepresented myself," she says, irritated.  She repositions herself in her chair.  "I'm merely positing the thought that a man's obsession with his handsomeness could be potentially detrimental."  Interjecting basic logic: "Yes, Elizabeth, but wouldn't a man's perfect features rescue him from such a predicament?"  

Dr. Chang is hopelessly perplexed.  Is she hungry?  Experiencing a low blood sugar?  "No," she assures me.  "She is not."  "I think you're missing the point."  "I'm not sure you have a point," I say.  "Are you sure you're not just really hungry?  One time, I skipped lunch and thought I was being followed by the secret police for an hour."  

Dr. Chang may have just rolled her eyes; the old lady wraparounds make it it impossible to tell.  

"I believe that's paranoid schizophrenia you're referring to."  "No, I was famished, Doc. I had a plate of grilled chicken and asparagus, glass of milk, and then felt totally fine."

“Are you troubled?” Dr. Chang inquires.  “I have demons you can’t even imagine.”  “I can see that,” she says.  “No, it’s a David Fincher quote.  I just thought it was gnarly and funny in a ridiculous, over-the-top sort of way.  “Oh,” she replies, disappointed.  “Johnny, has his own demons” -- that’s another good one from Point Break.  

Dr. Chang decided to leave so she could eat.  She did not return.  After eating, she came to her senses and was probably embarrassed by her bizarre hypothesis.  We don't judge you, Dr. Chang, and look forward to hearing sane thoughts from you, now that your body has the proper nutrition it needs.  Godspeed.



Friday, April 3, 2015

"John Rafferty's America, Vol. 2" (trailer)

"John Rafferty's America, Vol. 2" (part three)

"John Rafferty's America, Vol. 2" (part two)

"John Rafferty's America, Vol. 2" (part one)

"John Rafferty's America" - Extras (part two)

"John Rafferty's America" - Extras (part one)

"John Rafferty's America" (part three)

"John Rafferty's America" (part two)

"John Rafferty's America" (part one)

"Love Is A Battlefield" (Trailer)

"Love Is A Battlefield" (part 4 of 4)

"Love Is A Battlefield" (part 3 of 4)

"Love Is A Battlefield" (part 2 of 4)

"Love Is A Battlefield" (part 1 of 4)

"Things To Do - The Kids in the Hall"


Classic sketch!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

"Nugent Beats Me To The Punch" (Example 2)

Again, beat me to the punch on this on this one, as well. However, he was born first, so it's kind of unfair.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

"Nugent Beats Me To The Punch" (Exhibit A)

I wish I had written this song. My video would have been a little different, though:
Cut out the little girl part (creepy) and replace it with a helicopter and some guys firing uzis,
as they hold up a nightclub.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Monday, February 23, 2015

"Great Bandana Wearers In History"



Vasquez, Aliens 2














Mike Muir, Suicidal Tendencies

GG Allin













Tupac
















Chad Ginsburg, CKY






















Rosie the Riveter


















* The guy from "Contra" and Rambo, technically, didn't wear bandanas, but their red headbands clearly furthered the style.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

"President's Day"

I know I'm a day late with this, but this post is a little more serious than usual.

It's hard being president. Let's just start there. Ben Franklin, in a new book on him, Big Ben, (I read it; it's excellent, fascinating, even for the layperson), struggled much more than was ever known. Same with Teddy Roosevelt, too. So, even the top dogs have a hard time being president.

But what occurred to me is this: When Harrison Ford was president, he made a brilliant move that I can't believe no one else has copied -- maybe it's just out of respect, like, they don't wanna bite his style. Anyway, he made a really cool action movie called Air Force One, where he plays himself and he takes control of a hijacked plane, showing himself to be the ultimate leader -- It's not real, but it's impressive, and it's forward-thinking. He's showing us what he's about and what he can do.

Yeah, it didn't win any Oscars, but it got three stars and the positive effect it had on his presidency can't be overstated.

Jimmy Carter, our 39th president, was a good man -- really a great man -- from a troubled family, who paved the way for this kind of thing when he made an instructional basketball home video with legendary UCLA coach, John Wooden. It's boring as shit, but it was the first time anyone had tried something like this.

Friday, February 13, 2015

"Matthew McConaughey's Car Story"

In another life-changing moment, which he titled "The Curse of the Red Sports Car," the star recalls his misguided decision to trade in his four-cylinder truck for a fancy cherry-red sports car in high school.

"My truck was informal, rugged, social, like me," he says. "But this 300ZX [sports car] was my dream car, or so I thought. And as soon as I got it, something changed. I started acting like my car. I became really concerned with my appearance, meticulous, self-conscious."

Needless to say, the star sold the car two months later and got his truck – not to mention his down-to-earth swagger – back. 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

"Come With Me"

"Venom Song Titles"

All of Venom's song titles are awesome and/or priceless, but the very fact that they have a song called "Aaaaaarrghh" is the clincher -- And the song sounds just like you think it would!



Monday, February 2, 2015

"Stryper"

Why Stryper never wrote a song called "Prayer Warriors" is beyond me.