"Philosophy of Farful"

If you're thinkin' of giving up on your dreams, you can put that idea in a shopping cart and throw it out the window.

"Philosophy of Farful"

The solution to loneliness: Become miserable. After all,  "misery loves company."

"Philosophy of Farful"

If you're born Ron Jekyll and you wanna be a doctor, you better just kiss that dream good-bye. It's not in the cards, brother.

"Dear Ashley"

Right now, I feel like I'm living like an animal, but that I need to take it further. For starters, I don't feel as though I should be living indoors; I feel like I should be living in the wild -- or at the very least in my car. I'd like to live like a werewolf and hunt my food. I was watching something on MTV about people who live in the woods, off the land, and one of the girls was attractive, so I feel like that's positive and could work out for me. Here are the pros and cons I've come up with  for being a werewolf:

                    Pros                                                  Cons

                 

                   It's cool                                             Shun by many in society

                   Don't have to worry                         Probably can't run for elected office

                  about health insurance

                   Get to live outside

                                                                                                          Sincerely,

                                                                                                          Marc Farful

                                                                                                         (Probably gonna
                                                                                                         become a werewolf)

"Facts About Ben Franklin"

• He was in a death metal band.
• His favorite food was spaghetti.
• His nickname was "The Electric Old Man."
• He would watch static on TV because it relaxed him.
• He couldn't swim.
• Favorite flower: daffodils.

"Philosophy of Farful"

Life's like driving a car: Look where you want to go and you will get there.

"Philosophy of Farful"

Life isn't a game of cards: You can't just fold whenever you're dealt a bad hand.

"I'd Love To See"

A Ferrari with a license plate that read: "INSECUR."

"Janitor 9: Custodial Ultimatum (Trailer)

Trailer for the ninth installment in the Janitor film franchise.

"The Ballad of Gurthang Troll"

"Support the Cause!"

"Can You Imagine?"

Can you imagine a guy named Ruce Springsteen? And so, like, every time he gets introduced to someone new, they go: (all excited) "Your name is Bruce Springsteen! Are you related to -" And he goes: "No, no, no, it's Ruce. Ruce Springsteen." And it's a total letdown for everybody.

"Philosophy of Farful"

No luggage? TBTB: Travel By Trash Bag.

"Philosophy of Farful"

If you've been searching and searching for something and you can't find it, chances are, it doesn't exist.

"Philosophy of Farful"

Jesus is the answer. The devil is the question. Think about it.

"Cheese No More"

A roommate threw out my cheese. I wrote this poem to deal with the pain.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Katherine
She did everything with ease
But then she was cleaning out the refrigerator
And she threw away my cheese
Pain, devastation, disbelief -- this is what I felt
My cheese was gone, it twas no more
I descended straight to hell
Will I ever get more cheese?
It's anybody's guess
But a life without my beloved cheese
Is a fate worse than death

"My Car Goes Fast (Rock Version)

"Please Come Back"

"I Hate You"

"Gina"

"Look Both Ways Before You Cross The Street"

"I Found My Pants!"

On June 12th and 14th of this year, 2012, I posted blogs about a pair of pants I lost. A pair of khakis, to be specific. I wrote both a poem and a song lamenting the loss of them -- Well, guess what? I found 'em! What a joyous day!

"Fool's Gold"

"I Lost A Pair of Pants Today" (The Song)

"Nomad"

"I Lost A Pair of Pants Today"

This is a poem of sorrow about a pair of paints that I lost today:

I lost a pair of pants today
They were so dear to me
I lost a pair of pants today
They were khakis


I don't know what to do anymore
Even though I hadn't had 'em very long
I don't know what to do anymore
Now they're forever gone


I lost a pair of pants today
They're forever gone

"Stir Crazy"

"Philosophy of Farful"

Dare to dream: A fireplace on a plane. Yes, a fire hazard, but it would make it so cozy. We can make it work.

"Old Man Sitting On A Porch"

"Pale"

"Soda"

"My Car Goes Fast"

"Ray Parker Jr."

"The Tale of Wendell P. Wendell"

"Hambone Smith, Part 2"

It was a clerical error with the pants. He got them back, let out to accommodate his fat body. Then he killed the guy who stole his marbles.

THE END.

"Philosophy of Farful"

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Either way, it's a bad deal for the fish.

"Hambone Smith"

Hambone Smith was a longshoreman. He worked on a long shore, man. He also collected marbles. But one day, someone stole his marbles. He had lost his marbles! Which, in turn, caused him to lose his marbles. "I'll kill 'em!" he exclaimed about the marble thief.

He got lunch, then saw about the business of hunting this no-good ne'er-do-well down and gutting him like a fish. Although, there was also the matter of his pants hanging over his head: He had taken a number of pants to a man named Lee to have them let out because he was getting medically obese. And there had been no word in weeks as to the status of these pantalones.

As if he didn't have enough on his plate!

No, he would have to resolve this pant issue before he did any killing.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

"Philosophy of Farful"

Kids are no good at making money because they're too emotional. You can't be emotional in matters of money.

"Old Man Thunder!"

A movie about a young detective who has to go undercover in a senior living community, in order to take down a criminal enterprise run by devious old people.  With the help of make-up and latex, he is transformed into an old man -- Old Man Thunder!

Tagline: "Breaking hips and taking names!"

"I Have A Dream"

"The Psychic"

"Narberth"

Song I wrote about Narberth, PA. I hope it will be adopted as the town's official song.

"Mr. Alone"

I got this spam on myspace:

Zack says

you make some good music and I've added your The Manowar Prayer song to my new favorites my sister's team can help your career

My response:

Dear Zack,

I don't need your sister's team -- or anybody else's help, for that matter -- with my music career, or anything else, period. You see, Zack, I made a decision a long time ago, to go it alone. I live alone; I work alone; I eat alone; I sleep alone. I don't have any alone time because all my time is alone time. And I spend it alone, Zack. I'm Mr. Alone. So Leave me alone.

Surviving You Always,

Marc Farful 

"The Perfect Crime"