"I Eat All My Meals At The Bowling Alley, Alone"

"I Had A Panic Attack"

"This Is The Best Material I've Got Right Now"

Poor swimmer:

You can be a poor swimmer because you're bad at swimming, or because you're someone who swims and has no money.

I apologize.

"Love Is Stupid"

A pretty little ditty about the horror that is romantic love.

"Say It Ain't So, Evil Judge"

The Evil Judge has been kicked out of his apartment and is now squatting in this condemned mansion.

"Further Evil Judge Update!"

The small amount of evil judge roles have dried up and the Evil Judge has gone broke--even his tiny residuals have dried up, as well. He's in dire straits. He's trying to get any job he can find, but he doesn't have a background in anything/no previous work experience. Time is running thin.

"Evil Judge Update"

With all the reality shows out there, evil judge characters are not in demand. But checkout his new commercial. He spent basically his whole life savings on it. (If you like what you see and have another character in mind, he has no range and can only play an evil judge.)

"Children's Book Update!"

Drunk Rich Guy is turning into an emotional and logistical nightmare. Reality: I've only written and illustrated one children's book before and it didn't sell any copies--it was about a child who sues his parents for neglect. So now I have to find someone who can write and illustrate this one--plus, I'd like to include a song with the book, which isn't going to write itself. I may not have what it takes to make this juggernaut work. I also don't have any money. A grant for material like this that's so ahead of its time, probably won't happen. Crowd sourcing? I doubt people will cough it up for a genius, but seemingly idiotic adventure into the depths of stupidity.

Now I know what van Gogh felt. This is my "Sunflowers."

"Children's Book!"

I'm trying to write a children's book entitled Drunk Rich Guy. It's about a drunk rich guy, who always buys his way out of the disaster that results from his boozing. Finally, he messes with the wrong hombre and the dude kidnaps and then executes him. Oh, he also steals all the rich guys' money.

It's a metaphor for the redistribution of wealth in American society.