Professional Wrestler's Resume

Jake “The Snake” Roberts
thesnake@hotmail.com
Home address: 34 Carmel Drive, San Berdinas, CA 190045, 310-555-5150

OBJECTIVE: To obtain a position in marketing.

EDUCATION: Burt Misham School of Wrestling, San Berdinas, CA
Bachelor of Arts: Wrestling
Minor: Russian literature
Major GPA: 3.6 Overall GPA: 3.2
Scholarship Recipient
Coursework includes: Creating over-the-top personas, Taunting would-be opponents, Finishing moves, Choosing cool entrance music, Women’s literature, and flexing muscles almost all the time no matter what.
Also cultivated extremely tight and lasting relationship with killer python.

San Berdinas High School, San Berdinas, CA
National Honor Society
Editor-in-chief of Yearbook
Forensics
Band (Oboe)

RELATED
EXPERIENCE:· Successfully marketed self-created persona that fooled males ages 8-12 into thinking I, and everything I was doing, was real.
· Planned and executed elaborate stage show involving an awesome snake that I kept in a bag until I had defeated my opponent, at which point I would lay it on top of him.
· Did extensive data entry and filing work.
· Came up with “the snake” (which rhymes) part of my wrestling name all by myself.

SKILLS:
· Excel, Pile driving, PowerPoint, The Suplex, Coming hard off the ropes, Microsoft Office, The part where I lay the snake on the guy after I’ve beat him.

REFERENCES:· Ravishing Rick Rude, The Bushwackers, Koko B. Ware, The Ultimate Warrior, Bam Bam Bigelow, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Mr. Perfect, Hacksaw Jim Dugan (HOOOOOOOOO!) and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase.