Now that it's been confirmed that Brad Pitt put a microchip into all the Corona virus vaccines, and can follow and control me whenever he wants, I have to say I think we've really grown to become friends; I've never felt closer to Brad. In fact, my life's never been better with Brad by side: It's comforting knowing someone so cool and successful is looking out for me, and I've never gotten so many women in my life (a fact I can only attribute to Brad's microchip presence.)
Bravo, Mr. Pitt! Bravo!
Sincerely,
A fan and now a friend
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