"Times Are Tough"

I got laid off from my job at the insurance company, but I'm back with my new invention/career: The Human Pinata! What I do is fill my clothes up with candy and then, while suspended from a tree -- or really anything that can take my weight -- I have kids beat me with wiffle ball bats until the candy falls out. No major injuries as of yet and I'm making anywhere from fifty to seventy-five bucks a gig. Marc Farful! The Human Pinata! Available for parties, bar/bat mitzvahs, corporate events, and family reunions.