"The History of Chinatown"

A lot of people ask me about the history of Chinatown, and I always have to remind them that there are actually several "Chinatowns," but that the story of the first Chinatown, which originated in New York, begins with a Hungarian immigrant named Pat China.

Pat China made a killing selling high-quality plates and eating utensils -- that he himself crafted -- called Pat's Chinaware (later just known as Chinaware), and also "Fine China." After a rocky start, his business flourished beyong his wildest dreams. But the success went to his head, and soon he was to leave his native Hungary for New York, where he spent his life savings buying up what would now comprise roughly three city blocks. This land he christened "Chinatown," a town that he was the god and ruler of. (It is important to note that Pat originally planned on buying all of what is now Brooklyn, but severly miscomputed the exhange rate of the nieve [pronounced neve and the basis of all Hungarian currency] with that of the dollar.

In the end, the name stuck around, yet sadly Pat China did not: He died of a heart attack four months after stepping foot in America. The dude lived hard.

"Janitor 5"

By far the most philosophical of the series, the film opens with the janitor having just finished watching the Back to the Future trilogy. Now despite Doc's clear message concerning the dangers of time-travel, the janitor can't get past how much fun they had, so he builds a time machine (montage) in his basement. His first experiment is going fifteen minutes into the future, where he witnesses the end of the TV show he was watching. The ending ruined if he goes back to the present, he must live life fifteen minutes in the future.

"Janitor 4: Alien vs Janitor vs Predator"

Again, why not?

"Janitor 3: Alien vs Janitor"

Why not?

"Abraham 'Eazy-E' Lincoln"

I have an idea for a gangsta rapper named Abraham "Eazy-E" Lincoln. He would dress up like Abraham Lincoln, and all his raps would be combinations of "The Gettsyburg Address" and Eazy-E lyrics.

Four scores and seven years ago/I reached back like a pimp and I slapped the ho!

"What Are You Going To Be?"

Sophomore year of high school, everyone had to take this test that told you what you would amount to in life. Mine came back ugly, unsuccessful, and destitute. A bona fide triple-threat, people!

"Thrown for a Loop"

He faked a psych defense, but when he went to the mental institution, it turned out he really was crazy.