"How To Win A Girl Over"

A lot of times, a good way to win a girl over is to do something creepy, like write an entire song about her, even though you barely you know her. Women love music--and unwelcome advances!

"Check Out Ben Marshall's Comedy -- I GOT VACCINATED!!!"

Check out this guy's youtube page. Some great stuff! 

"Financial Windfall!"

I finally hit $6.81 in Wells Fargo Rewards money and I'm having a hell of a time deciding between buying a helicopter and a brand-new house in the Hollywood Hills. Both are such great buys, and to be honest, I almost have enough for both, but not quite, and this massive $6.81 is burnin' a goddamn hole in my pocket like you wouldn't believe. 

I gotta pull the trigger on one of them.

Let's look at the pros and cons of the helicopter.

Pros:

--This thing is bad ass. 

--Yes, I'm going to be getting an insane amount of women just owning this thing, let alone if I ever fly it somewhere. 

--All the new helicopter friends I'll make.

--If we go to war, I can just put machine guns on the sides and I'm set.

--Incredibly fuel-efficient. (I wasn't gonna buy it if it wasn't green.)

Cons:

--There actually aren't any.

Pros and cons of the house in the Hollywood Hills. 

Pros: 

--Even more women than I get with the helicopter.

--Living in the lap of luxury (and you know it has a great pool).

--If we go to war, I can just put machine guns on the sides and I'm set.

--The $6.81 will allow me to buy it outright in cash (no mortgage payments).

--Making friends with the rich and powerful, who also love to party!

Cons:

--Zero.

So, I'm gonna go with the house, mainly because I'd like not to be homeless. Yes, it is possible to live in a helicopter, but it's pretty rough and I feel like the mansion in the hills is my chapter one and helicopter is my chapter two. I know it's cliche, but it's science. Ya gotta do it. You'll thank me in the morning.

   

"Ask Farful"

Q: Anything.

A: In this book. 

MxPx - Chick Magnet

Classic.

"Becoming An Adult"

You know you're becoming an adult when you get unduly excited on a Sunday about all the laundry you're gonna get done, so you're set for the coming work week. It's pathetic. But you're not alone. 

"Ask Farful"

 Q: If I really like a girl, do you think buying her Twisted Sister's album, Stay Hungry, is a good first move? *Keep in mind I've never spoken to her, only stared at her at the bowling alley.

A: Yes.