"Coming to America"

I came to America with seven dollars in my pocket . . . and a million dollars in a briefcase.

"The Good Son"

My mom's favorite scene from a movie is in the The Good Son where the mother decides to drop Macaulay Culkin to his death.

"On the Prowl"

Originally, this song of mine, "On the Prowl," was supposed to come out like a Crying Steel song off their album, "On the Prowl." But it didn't.

"Maybe Tonight"

Sometimes you--you know who you are--go out and think you might meet someone. But you're goin' home alone tonight, ya sad bastard!

"She Voted for Nixon"

I just found out that my wife, the old battle-axe, voted for Richard Nixon, a lie she's been harboring for decades. This song is about the excruciating pain I now live in. Throw up your hands, people. I'm a goner.

"My Baby's Gone"

This song's about my wife, the old battle-axe, who left me for dead.

"Eddie Van Halen Tribute"

My best tribute to the guitar playing of Eddie Van Halen.