"Philosophy of Farful"

I had a dream last night where a deer talked to me. My mind has been set free. The time has come to set yours free, as well.

"Philosophy of Farful"

That which does not kill us just hurts a lot and makes our lives worse.

"Philosophy of Farful"

Go to the bank with a check that's less than a hundred dollars. When the teller asks you how you would your money, say all hundreds. Do it! It'll make ya laugh, ya sad bastard.

"This Is The Kind Of Music My Mom's Into Right Now"

"Philosophy of Farful"

Best Western is a quality establishment. So even if you stay at the worst Best Western, it will be a positive experience.

Lesson: The worst of the best is still fantastic!

"I Think That Would Be Fantastic!"

I'd like to have a closet in my house that's full of skeletons -- not real ones; fake ones. But, literally, a closet just full of skeletons. I think that would be fantastic!

"Philosophy of Farful"

Let us consider our enemies: Do they hate us, or do they hate themselves? Take for instance, Skeletor's hatred for He-Man. Skeletor's a total cokehead, so does he hate He-Man, or is he always just so jacked-up on coke that he hates everybody? Plus, he's livin' an ultimately lonely life in his Castle Grayskull. He has material goods, yes, but what of his spiritual wealth? None. Thus the source of his hatred. Thus the source of his enemies. Today's lesson: Your greatest enemy may just be your most unhappiest best friend in waiting.