"Thirst For Blood"

"Being An Adult?"

When I got the $1,400 stimulus check from President Biden, my first thought was to use the money to build a robot. However, I ended up using it to buy a new computer I desperately needed. I guess that's something like being an adult, I guess? 

"The Negotiating Official Trailer (2017)"

More genius from Jacy Catlin.

"My Mom's Lost Her Mind"

My mom has been ranting and raving nonstop the last four weeks about how Motley Crue's Theatre of Pain is the greatest record ever made. First off, it's not even Motley's best record--Shout at the Devil is--let alone the best record ever made! I can't even talk to her anymore. She's a goddamn lunatic! 

"I Live On The Precipice Of Death"

"Off The Sauce"

"Happy Birthday, Mom!"

My mom's a devout Catholic, but I'm thinking about getting her, for her birthday, a huge black canvas with a large red pentagram in the middle, and above it, in red letters, it will read: HAIL SATAN! 

I think she'll appreciate the humor. 

"My Parents Are In Jail"

"You know, that guy from Christmas"

An absolutely brilliant sketch.

"Words of Wisdom"

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and also it's way too fucking long, especially on foot. What the fuck! It'll take the rest of your life to get there.

"The Blues"

"Acoustic Death"

"Outro"